You wake up, and before your feet even hit the floor, the list begins.
The emails that need answering. The project that’s been sitting on your desk for three weeks. The social media post you should write. The house that won’t clean itself. It’s a relentless hum of “doing,” and if you’re anything like the creative, deep-feeling women I work with, that hum often turns into a roar of overthinking.
We’ve been taught that the secret to a successful life is a solid “to-do” list. We set intentions like “I will finish this today” or “I will be more productive.” But what happens when the day doesn’t go as planned? What happens when your energy dips, or life throws a curveball, and that list remains half-finished?
Usually, the inner critic wakes up. It tells you that you’re lazy. That you’re failing. And slowly, brick by brick, your self-trust begins to crumble.
If you want to know how to build self trust, the answer isn’t in doing more. It’s in shifting the focus from what you’re doing to how you’re being. It’s about setting “Feeling Intentions.”
What exactly is a “Feeling Intention”?
Most of us set outcome-based intentions. We focus on the destination. A feeling intention, however, is about the journey. It is a gentle decision to prioritize an internal state over an external result.
Instead of saying, “I intend to write three blog posts today,” a feeling intention sounds like:
- “I intend to feel spacious while I create.”
- “I intend to feel grounded in my body while I work.”
- “I intend to feel kind toward myself, regardless of what I get done.”
It sounds simple, almost too simple. But for a sensitive soul, this shift is revolutionary. When you focus on the feeling, you stop treating yourself like a machine and start treating yourself like a human being. This is the first step in learning how to stop overthinking, because overthinking is almost always a survival mechanism triggered when we feel unsafe or pressured by our own expectations.
Why your nervous system needs this shift
When we set rigid, outcome-based goals, our nervous system often goes on high alert. We’ve tied our worth to the “win.” If we don’t hit the mark, we feel a sense of internal betrayal.
Self-trust is essentially the relationship you have with yourself. It’s the belief that you will look after your own needs and keep your promises to yourself. But if the promises you’re making are always about productivity and never about your well-being, your inner self stops trusting you. It knows that you’ll push past your limits to get the job done. It knows you’ll prioritize a deadline over your peace.
By setting a feeling intention, you are sending a signal to your nervous system: I see you. Your comfort matters more than the output.
When you honor how you want to feel, you create safety. And in that safety, overthinking begins to quiet down. You aren’t constantly scanning for “what’s next” or “what’s wrong” because you’ve anchored yourself in the present moment.
How to build self trust through the “Feel-First” method
If you’re ready to try this, I invite you to start small. Building trust takes time. It’s a series of small, consistent acts of self-honoring.
1. Check in with your current “weather”
Before you set an intention for the day, ask yourself: How do I feel right now? Don’t judge it. If you’re tired, you’re tired. If you’re anxious, you’re anxious. You can’t navigate to where you want to go if you don’t know where you are starting from.
2. Choose your “Anchor Word”
Choose one word that describes how you want to feel. Not how you “should” feel, but what your soul is actually craving.
- Ease
- Clarity
- Softness
- Connection
- Play
3. Let the “Doing” follow the “Feeling”
Once you have your word, look at your to-do list. Ask yourself: How can I do these tasks while honoring my word?
If your word is “Ease,” maybe you answer those emails from a cozy chair with a cup of tea instead of hunched over your desk. If your word is “Connection,” maybe you reach out to a friend for a quick voice note before you start your deep work.
Visual Suggestion: A photorealistic, high-quality image of Maria in a bright, airy room, looking relaxed and focused, perhaps holding a warm mug. The lighting is soft and natural, emphasizing a sense of ‘ease’ and ‘sophistication.’ She looks like a mentor who practices what she preaches.
Breaking the cycle of overthinking
Overthinking is often the mind’s attempt to “fix” a feeling we haven’t acknowledged. We think if we just analyze the situation enough, we’ll find the “right” answer and then we’ll finally feel okay.
But you can’t think your way into a feeling. You have to feel your way there.
When you notice your mind spinning, wondering if you’re doing enough, if you’re good enough, if you’re making the right choices, stop. Gently bring yourself back to your feeling intention.
“Right now, I intended to feel grounded. Is this spiral helping me feel grounded?”
Usually, the answer is no. This realization gives you the permission to stop the mental loop. You aren’t “failing” at your task; you are simply returning to your intention. This gentle redirection is exactly how to build self trust. You are proving to yourself that you are the one in charge of your inner world, not your anxious thoughts.
A 7-Day “Feeling Intention” Experiment
I’m a big believer in experiments. They feel less heavy than “commitments.” For the next seven days, I invite you to try this:
- Morning: Before looking at your phone, choose one word for how you want to feel today. Write it on a sticky note or your hand.
- Mid-day: Check in. Are you honoring that feeling? If not, what’s one tiny shift you can make to get closer to it?
- Evening: Instead of reviewing what you did, review how you felt. Did you experience moments of your anchor word? Celebrate those moments.
If you find yourself struggling with the “Wealth” or “Success” aspect of your creative journey while trying to stay soul-aligned, you might find some comfort in the Wealth Mindset Course. It’s designed to help you bridge that gap between heart and honey.
Learning to trust your own “Yes” and “No”
As you get better at setting feeling intentions, you’ll notice something beautiful: your boundaries become clearer.
When your intention is to feel Peace, it becomes much easier to say “no” to a request that feels chaotic or draining. You no longer need a “good enough” excuse to decline. The fact that it interferes with your intended feeling is reason enough.
This is where the magic happens. You begin to act in alignment with your inner truth. You stop looking for external validation because you are finally listening to the most important voice in the room: your own.
You might find that you’ve been overthinking your business decisions because you were trying to follow someone else’s roadmap. But when you lead with feeling, your own path begins to unfold naturally.
Visual Suggestion: A close-up, photorealistic shot of Maria looking directly at the camera with a gentle, knowing smile. Soft, natural light. She looks compassionate and grounded, embodying the energy of a trusted guide.
You are allowed to take up space
Setting a feeling intention is an act of reclaiming your space in the world. It’s saying that your internal experience is just as valid: if not more so: than your external achievements.
It’s not about being perfect. You will have days where you intend to feel “Ease” and end up feeling “Frazzled.” That’s okay. The trust isn’t built in being perfect; it’s built in how you treat yourself when things are messy. Do you berate yourself, or do you offer yourself the same grace you’d give a dear friend?
The more you choose grace, the more you trust yourself to handle whatever life throws at you.
Your Invitation to Deeper Alignment
If this resonates with you, but you’re finding it hard to quiet the noise of the “shoulds” on your own, I’m here to help. Sometimes we just need a safe space to untangle the knots and remember who we are beneath the expectations.
If you’re looking for a gentle, one-off space to gain clarity and reset your compass, the Unfold Session is a beautiful way to start. We can sit together, look at where you are, and find that feeling intention that will guide your next steps.
Or, if you’re ready to truly dive deep into reclaiming your voice and building a life (and business) that feels like home, my Unapologetically You coaching is a 3-month journey where we walk side-by-side. We’ll work on building that unshakeable self-trust and silencing the overthinking for good.
You don’t have to do this alone. You are allowed to be supported. You are allowed to feel good.
Learn more about working with me here.
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